If you are in a successful, lasting relationship, you understand that it requires compromise, commitment, and sacrifice. The happiest relationships are those where both parties selflessly look after each other. This balance shifts, however, if you find yourself caregiving for your partner. And this shift can have an adverse impact on the dynamics of your relationship if you’re not careful.

Naturally, you want to do everything you can for your spouse. Nonetheless, it’s vital that you ensure you’re not sacrificing your romantic connection in the process. Trying to parent your companion can cause bitterness – for both of you. To keep healthy boundaries in place, keep the following tips in mind:

• Express your love for your partner in ways that have nothing in connection with the care you are providing. Write love letters, provide simple, thoughtful gifts, tell the person just how much you admire specific traits you notice in them.
• Have an open, honest discussion regarding how the health changes are affecting you. Brainstorm how to find a new normal that will be fulfilling for both of you, establishing new, attainable dreams and goals together.
• Encourage your partner to remain as independent as possible. Although you certainly have the best of intentions in wanting to help, it is not difficult to cross the line into causing damage to the person’s self-esteem. Plan additional time, incorporate adaptive tools, and step back whenever you can to permit the person to do whatever they are able to on their own.
• Be deliberate in creating opportunities to focus on your relationship independent of the injury or illness. Continue to take part in the activities and conversations you enjoyed together before the health issue arose, altering if needed.

If all this seems easier in theory, there are some specific things you can do to ensure you’re keeping appropriate boundaries when caregiving for your partner:

• Place some favorite photos or memorabilia from past vacations you’ve taken in areas where you’ll see them often, to remind yourself of the happy times you’ve had together.
• Offer hugs, hold hands, give a back rub or shoulder massage, etc. to stay in close physical contact apart from touch that is a necessary element of care.
• Keep an active social network, both as a couple and individually. Activities you engage in with relatives and friends may need to be modified, but should not be eliminated altogether.
• Work on resolving any conflicts in a healthy way, bringing in a professional counselor for help if needed.

An at-home caregiver is a great option to ensure your partner has all of the support and help needed, letting you concentrate on spending quality time together as a couple. Contact us online or call us at (530) 885-7444 for more information regarding our Auburn, CA senior care services or care throughout the surrounding areas.

Surprisingly, caring for someone and spending so much time with them to make sure they’re well can actually be incredibly isolating. Yet feeling isolation as a caregiver is actually quite common, for a number of reasons:

• Guilt over enjoying time away from the loved one in your care
• Mental or physical exhaustion: you’re simply too depleted to want to socialize
• Bitterness toward those whose lives seem so much simpler
• And more

No matter the reason for feeling isolated as a caregiver, it’s important to take the necessary steps to overcome it. Social isolation can result in serious health problems, such as heart problems, stroke, high blood pressure, depression, and difficulties with attention and memory, just to name a few.

Our home care professionals recommend starting today with implementing one or more of these ideas:

• Start each day with an optimistic mindset. It might take some effort in the beginning if you have been feeling down for some time. A great way to begin is with 15 minutes of energy-boosting activity. Make it something rewarding, instead of an additional chore to add to your routine, such as by jumping on a small trampoline or following along with an upbeat exercise video.
• Watch how you talk to yourself. Your internal dialogue plays a tremendous role in your mood. Pay attention to your thoughts. If they are consistently negative or loaded with anxiety and worry, try deliberately shifting your mindset. Find three positive things to be thankful for and concentrate on those. When the negativity creeps back in, come up with three more. It may take some effort at first, but will soon become second nature.
• Initiate conversations with strangers. It is amazing how such a simple thing as chatting with someone in the grocery store checkout line can raise your spirits. Offer a compliment, for example, on how pretty the person’s shirt is, or commiserate on the need to unload your purchases in the rainy weather.
• Tell friends and family how you feel. People may assume you’re too busy in your caregiving role to want to spend time with them. Let them know you are feeling isolated and lonely and would appreciate some company.
• Find a caregiver support group. You may be surprised to realize how many people feel exactly like you do. In supporting and encouraging each other, you’ll have the opportunity to make some new friends who are able to empathize with the journey you’re on.

Of course, socializing more as a caregiver is not always the easiest change to make. It requires finding a dependable source for relief from your caregiving tasks to enable you to step away and care for your own needs. Fortunately, Help at Home Senior Care offers the ideal solution. Reach out to us online or at (530) 885-7444 and together, with our respite care in Lincoln, CA and the nearby areas, we can construct a plan to ensure the best care for the older adult you love, and a healthier life balance for you also.

In his documentary about grief, George Shelley uses an analogy of glitter. Throw glitter into the air, and it’ll fall into the cracks and crevices of the floor, impossible to fully sweep up and remove. Anyone who has lost a loved one can relate. Yet in some instances, grief may be so overwhelming that it could result in a serious and aptly-named condition: broken heart syndrome.

Broken heart syndrome is a real and serious physical condition that stems from the grueling stress experienced in some kinds of grief (such as one spouse losing the other after decades of marriage). The medical term is takotsubo cardiomyopathy, a temporary enlargement of the heart that prevents it from pumping blood effectively. 

Furthermore, broken heart syndrome is more common than people may know. A number of high-visibility examples include Johnny Cash, who passed on just four months following the loss of his wife and George H.W. Bush, who became ill following the death of his wife of 73 years. 

There has been research on the impact of grief on a person’s physical health for years. In 1995, for instance, the term “widowhood effect” was coined to explain the 30% increase in mortality rate faced by those who lost a longtime partner. Other scientists determined a connection between the immune system and grief. Some surviving spouses simply lose the will to live. 

Help prevent this condition and ease the pain of grief for someone you love with these tips.

• Provide a listening ear and encourage the person to express their grief in a healthy way.
• Recommend the person speak with a counselor to effectively work through overwhelming emotions.
• Help the senior stay engaged in comforting, enjoyable activities whenever possible.
• Look for a grief support group for the senior to attend, either virtually or in person.
• Make sure the person is staying hydrated, eating well balanced meals, and getting plenty of sleep.
• Talk about the lost loved one, allowing the opportunity for shared memories and stories.
• Remind the person everything they have to live for, and that doing so is the best way to honor the lost loved one’s legacy.

A trained caregiving companion from Help at Home Senior Care can also be a great way to help a senior who is grieving. We offer socialization and plenty of opportunities for reminiscing and conversations, along with engaging activities, transportation wherever an older adult would like to go, and so much more. Reach out to us online or at (530) 885-7444 for a complimentary in-home consultation to find out more about our Auburn, CA senior care and care throughout the surrounding areas.

If today’s to-dos look like a lot more than you can possibly fit into 24 short hours, you are not alone! Family caregivers are frequently inundated with daily care tasks: Shopping and other errands. Planning activities that are purposeful and enjoyable for the older adult. Medical appointments. Personal care and hygiene. Planning and preparing meals. Housework and laundry. And all of this is on top of meeting the needs of your own household, children, spouse, and if there’s any time left over, yourself!

We invite you to hit the pause button for just a moment, take a deep breath, and implement these tried-and-true time management techniques to help each day run more smoothly.

Prioritize

Start the day by prioritizing tasks into categories, such as what must be done today, what you’d like to accomplish today, and what can wait until another day. This allows you to commit your full attention to the most pressing needs and set aside the rest.

Define

With your list of responsibilities for the day in hand, choose who is best suited to handle them. You may be the best person to help a senior loved one with showering and getting ready for the day, while a friend might be able to take the older adult to the physician and out for lunch afterwards.

Implement

The temptation to procrastinate can be a strong one to overcome! Now that you have a plan set up for your day, jump in and accomplish the tasks that require your attention. More importantly, keep in mind self-care should always be a high priority. Surround yourself with a strong support system that allows you enough time away to make sure your own health is never being compromised.

Through it all, remind yourself that the work you are doing is exceptionally important. It is easy to get caught up in the daily details and lose sight of the big picture and the fact that everything you do for the senior you love is producing a positive and lasting impact.

Bearing that in mind, allow yourself some grace on the days when things do not go as planned, which will surely end up being the case from time to time! When a setback or crisis arises and your to-dos are left undone, realize that tomorrow is a brand new day and the tasks will undoubtedly be there whenever you are prepared to tackle them again.

Help at Home Senior Care’s care providers are experienced, fully trained, and ready to assist family caregivers in meeting each one of a senior family member’s needs – permitting you the time away you'll need for a healthy and balanced life. Contact us at (530) 885-7444 for a free of charge in-home consultation and to learn more about our in-home care in Rocklin, CA and the nearby communities.